


Time For Miracles

by labct1



Series: Lambski shorts [38]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 20:39:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/891604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labct1/pseuds/labct1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically my fic on their breakup.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time For Miracles

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote months ago when Adam and Sauli first split up but forgot all about it. I only stumbled across it on LJ when someone asked me to post my old Kradam fics here. There's actually a few fics I've found but never posted. Amazing what you'll find months later! 
> 
> It's a quick fic I whipped up one morning. I haven't edited it at all so apologies for any errors.

"This isn't how I expected to spend my birthday."

"I'm not good enough company, for you?" Danielle teases.

What does it say that he can't even smile at that?

"It's okay," she says softly as she reaches across the table for his hand. "I get it."

How can she understand it when he doesn't understand it himself? Things spiraled out of control so quickly. In the span of a month, he went from being in a happy, loving relationship to being single and alone. One argument that went from a day, to a week, to two weeks, until it was too late to take things back.

"Go to New York. Have fun. Maybe some time apart will put things into perspective."

She has that right. He needs the time away to clear his mind of all this shit. 

New York was exactly what he needed. Apparently it was exactly what Sauli needed too because when Adam arrived home, Sauli had left for good. Adam came home to find a note on the counter saying he was staying with a friend. He didn't bother to say which one, not that Adam gives a shit at this point. All they've done is fight for the last few weeks. It's nice to be able to relax in his own home once again. No walking on eggshells. No glares. No slammed doors. 

Just peace and quiet.

"I've tried calling. He's not answering," he whines to Danielle. A couple of days of silence was all it took before he started wishing for the arguments. 

"Find another way to reach him."

God, he's lonely. Listening to melancholy music about love gone wrong probably isn't a good idea especially when Pink's song comes on. It's about keeping hope alive, but, Jesus, does he even want to hope anymore? Or does he just want to cut that cord and move on? 

Frustration eats at him. How is he supposed to talk to Sauli when he has no fucking idea what to say?

He's never gone this long without some form of communication with him. They haven't exchanged one word, not one text, since before his trip to New York. The initial 'fuck you, I don't need you' feeling he had before his trip has subsided, leaving behind a dull ache in his heart.

"Guys, I want to try something. Can you film it?" He asks Brian as he takes a seat on the stairs during rehearsal one night.

He finds the lyrics on his screen and starts to sing. Hopefully, Sauli will see it and understand, although he's not even sure Sauli will give a shit if he does. He doesn't know how else to reach him at this point. 

"I think he's gone for good," he admits to Terrance a month later. A few very short calls and the rare text messages are all the "talking" they've done recently. They're a world apart in more ways than geography. When all this started, the anger and hurt was so strong the thought of it being the end would have brought relief. Now, it just leaves an empty hole deep in his soul. 

"If you want to work it out, you've got to keep trying. Man, you can't give up."

Adam lets out a hallow laugh. "I've given him enough signals. I tweeted Map, for Christ's sake T! How big of a clue does he need?"

"And he contacted you, didn't he."

"But he didn't tell me anything. It was a stilted conversation at best. I can't sing his song tonight. Tell Brian we're doing Time For Miracles instead."

"Another signal?"

"Not a signal. At this point, it's the truth," he answers because a miracle is what it will take to get them back together. 

A few days later, he gets a three word text: can we talk 

That starts a chain reaction of tentative texts and awkward but calm phone calls, until he's rewarded with Sauli visiting him in St. Petersburg. 

He feels like things are finally getting back on track. Between that visit and the subsequent trip to Helsinki, Adam's feeling optimistic for the first time in a long time and it seems Sauli's anxious for this to work too. Until they get back to LA and Sauli insists they can't just pick up and act like the last two months never happened. 

Adam's not sure where that leaves them. They talk, they laugh, but they aren't together together. They've become friends who spend their time dancing around a subject neither wants to broach. 

Even a long talk with Sutan didn't provide any answers.

Sauli walks into the kitchen one morning, looking exhausted from a long night of filming, but happy in a way Adam hasn't seen in a long time. He starts filling Adam in on the newest guest, his face alight with glee and eyes shining with joy, something Adam recognizes in his own face when he starts writing or recording. He can't help smiling in response. 

Sauli helps Adam with the dishes while they share little everyday jokes. It's comfortable and easy, like old times, but different. One day soon, Sauli will move out but Adam no longer feels the dread he used to at the thought. They've somehow made it to the other side without the hostility and anger. 

"Hey, are you hungry? I got you a bagel when I was out."

"And coffee? Please say you brought coffee!" Sauli begs, his hands clasped together in front of him, a gesture Adam's seen many times in the last two years.

Adam laughs with relief. As much as things have changed, some have stayed the same. 

Later that morning, when the interviewer asks him about his relationship, he has no choice but to be honest. Sauli insisted it was for the best and Adam's beginning to think he's right. 

In the last two months, he's learned that sometimes you just have to give up the fight. They're closer than they've been in weeks but they aren't at a point to jump back into a relationship yet, nor is he sure they ever will be. 

It's a relief to get it out in the open and stop the hiding and pretending, but there's also sadness at knowing something special and rare is over. 

He waits for the paper to publish it and sure enough it hit’s the wires Friday morning. He hates this part of celebrity. The prying into his private life. The endless speculation over what went wrong when sometimes there isn't an easy answer. 

He and Sauli even laugh about the more sensationalized headlines.

"You have tomorrow night off, right?" Adam asks the night the news breaks.

"Yes."

"Did you want to get a drink, hang out for bit?"

Sauli opens his mouth only to close it again, before smiling. "Sure." 

Maybe not the same old Sauli, and he sure as hell isn't the same old Adam, but it's close, and given everything they've been through, he'll take it.


End file.
